I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Randomize
