I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
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