boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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