I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
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