Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
Please don't give away my fajitas
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Randomize
