That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
Randomize
