haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
Randomize
