puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
Randomize
