is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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