so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
This can only be settled by a dance off.
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
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