hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
