I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
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