I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
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