they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
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