aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
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