K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
Randomize
