went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
Randomize
