In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
Randomize
