i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
Randomize
