I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Randomize
