Too much gin, very little bucket
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
Randomize
