I don't usually arrange sex via text message
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
Randomize
