Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
Randomize
