one might say we're banned from that church
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
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