the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Randomize
