WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
I need to align my fucking chakras
please don't ironically join a cult
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