Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Randomize
