I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
Randomize
