That chode just called off the engagement. I just dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. And I’ve forgotten to take my birth control for the past two weeks. He’s fucked!
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
