Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
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