mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
Randomize
