Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
Randomize
