u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Randomize
