Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
Randomize
