At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
Randomize
