bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
Randomize