it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Randomize
