I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
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