Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
Randomize
