I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
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