I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
