Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
True but thats because hes a fetus.
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
I'm bleeding and have questions
Randomize
