i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
