And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
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