I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
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