just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
Randomize
