I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
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