That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
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