I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
