Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
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