My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
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