apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
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