All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
i used baking grease as lip gloss
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Randomize
